Homeless in Shinjuku Station,
May 2017

So a few days ago I was tired from all the walking and I was laying with my wife. I said “I kinda miss Estonia.” She nodded.

Next thing I knew I was bawling my eyes out and the next day before work too. Homesickness just came upon me and all I could do was weep. Japan is a great place to live, it’s safe, it’s clean, things work over here. Other times it sucks ass, they unironically use (and insist!) fax, you feel illiterate most of the time, and worst of all, you feel alone despite millions around of you. It’s hard to find friends here in Japan, especially if your Japanese is so-so.

After bawling a bit and writing some letters to my family, I felt reconnected once again and understood that it’s all right to feel lonely, especially after going to Kabuki-cho in Shinjuku (which I will do a little review later on).

I really do miss my friends and family and I thought about the pilgrims who went to America. My co-worker said that America wouldn’t ever been that strong if all these people would’ve gone to America, seen that there’s pretty much nothing and went back. “One thing people are going to realize when they return is that people are the all the same everywhere.”

That’s probably the zeitgeist of our time. People, young people especially, are always looking for something better or in the fancy business term – “The Next Big Thing”

One of my friends wrote to me and asked you know, I’d also wanna come to Japan. I was like great, whatcha wanna do? He said he wanted to join a dojo and learn sword-fighting.

Man, I knew he really didn’t want to learn sword-fighting. He was sick of being in home and not feeling in control of his life. I explained he should take some time and really thing what he really wants in his life and go for it. Make a plan and go for it, and he’ll make it.

I’m one to talk, huh?! I change plans all the time. Sure, I made to Japan somehow, but where now? I want to make an album, write more, get paid more, spend more time with my wife etc. So much to do, so little time.

I was at the same spot where my sword-fighting friend was a year back, all broken up and no purpose. I went hitchhiking in Europe just to find something, sure, I spent three weeks in space but when I got back it was the same old place. And I was still miserable! Man, July 2016 was the roughest month ever. Then I got a job, started to take care of myself and in March I found myself in Japan already.  Sometimes things work out until they break down, get fixed, break down and fixed once again.

You could say life has ups and downs, eh?

But the thing I miss the most is being able to read. I took literacy for granted until I came to Japan, and now here I am, not being able to read all this cool shit when I go out or pick up anything. Once I press post I will learn how to read again.


2 thoughts on “

    • Buddy, it is rough and I think people at my work think I’m a bit slow in the mind or something. Maybe I am, you know! But I am 100% sure that once I learn the language, it’ll be way easier than it is today. Hell, actually every day I am making progress as I learn a bit more of the language day by day. I finally get why it’s called a language barrier – it literally stops you from making friends like you’re used to.

      Of course I don’t know how life is in Singapore and how well-versed you are in the language, but I hope you will find some friends soon!!


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